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I'm not even mad at how things have panned out - Anarchy//Violence [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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I'm not even mad at how things have panned out [Apr. 26th, 2009|11:06 pm]
[mood |Released into the wild]
[music |Puke]

I like to stand at the ocean's edge and watch the immense power of the waves crash into the earth. Look far off into the infinite horizon. The power and the glory of life in turmoil, chaos and persistant instability. I watch the reundance of serenity. The white noise is neither quiet and peaceful nor loud and rambunctious. It is the massive cycle of life. Beyond Gods. Beyond all living things. Moreso all things in one. As the waves slither up the sand to my feet. I take out my dick and piss. I hate the fucking ocean.

And so we return to the repetitive and mundane. The non-existant mind games of technological advancements, social cliches and power struggles. From forced human warehousing to choosing our material confinements. So much has changed. Yet, even worse, so much has stayed exactly the same. What you wish to leave in the past haunts like a dissapointing shadow. The future is simple. We are a dog throwing it's own frisbee. Chase the carrot at the end of the stick. Titles and lovers and possesions and dreams. Boredom. Nowhere. Boring, boring, boring.

Things will be good. Things will be bad. Things will be just ok. Never content. That will never fucking change. Take a deep breath. Take a look inside. Push forward and wish you could bring the whole world with you. To see what you see. But no. They never will. They will never understand. They are furniture with legs and responsibilities. Movie extras. Other cars on the highway. I wonder if anyone else is looking up at these stars tonight. Bollocks. Crocks of shit and cunts and wankers.

I can't force myself into the square. I just dont fit and dont care.

It's a long hard road ahead. One big fucking adventure. The past, one ridiculous memory. You can't imagine my life. And still there are those who live much more gloriously?... Yeah, either way I want more. Always harder, faster, now. But I have to slow down. Stay off the radar. Stay out of trouble. Blend. Torn between reality and my own reality. Life needs to be lived. I've tasted the forbidden fruit of Gods and morphed into the demons of earth. I want to regurgitate, ravage and sway nations into upheaval. 100% 2 fingers in the air. Utter chaos and complete bananas. Limmericks and cockney slang. Offensive language.

I'm not even angry. I'm in love. Things are great. I am great. My friends and family are great. My future is great. Life is great. Laughing all the way to the funny farm. Sneering. Shaking vigorously and violently. Gobbing and strutting. Punx rule skool.

Lucha, comparte y vive en paz y armonia

[User Picture]From: xarsenickx
2009-04-27 04:41 am (UTC)

Estoy feliz a verle!

I hope that was spelled right :P

Glad to hear you writing. Sorry for the long pause, my 2nd letter back to you at Suffolk got returned in the mail- I don't want you to think I forgot, because I never did.

I don't want to end up just saying obvious things that you likely already know, but life is beautiful (it may also be known as the beautiful struggle), and the inspiration to keep going will come from all variety of people. I've been uncomfortable with my separation from all the people I'm used to knowing and seeing in my town, tired of being out of touch with who's playing here and what's happened while I've been trying to make myself focus on getting to the end of my project, but in a very clear and definite way it's also been the opportunity to more fully conceive of what I really want, what really would make me happy, and what a meaningful life would look like- and being away from the static and noise and gossip (unfortunately, gossip is huge-huge anywhere my old friends are), really helped me think. And I hope that you got a chance to experience the same.

It is time to dance already, though!

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